Frosh afternoon jokes
1)My dear ladies some of you wear makeup but you are still ugly, my sister thats what we call Adding salt to an injury, your condition is permanent..
2) Some girls know you are broke, yet they will get pregnant and tell you they have good news for you.. whats good about the news
3) My sister if your baby knows how many old men sucked those breast before him/her, the baby will prefer porridge beans
4) Women who can not Cook, can be so dramatic, u find her wearing an Apron just to boil water
5) This black lipstick is not for every lady, some of u end up looking like female traditional healers......
6) One Ibadan girl has been singing since morning “Shawa kote see kote” Instead of “Yawa go dey see gobe”
7)Something bothers me, those girls who go to night clubs wearing crop Tops and leggings, were do they put their money?
Ahbi dem no get money??
8) So u deleted ur bibble App to download Snapchat, I hope u also download a filter that can reduce the heat temperature inside Hell??
9)• Sister you are not Rihanna, wear bra and stop showing us that breast that are pointing at your shoes
10)• Girl: Dad, whats better? To pass or to fail?
Dad: To pass obviously!
Girl: oh my God! You’ll be proud of me cos I passed my pregnancy text
11)• My mom asked my girlfriend if she can Cook, Then she smiled and replied, ” Mummy I cooked the tea we drank at home this morning”
my mum is still looking for where to faint cos our dog fainted where she was supposed to faint
12)• 9ja armed robbers just enter area..;
Everybody kneel down lie! bring out all your money!!
Me: Oga abeg mercy for me, I no hol money abeg nah..
Robbers: Fool! oya stand up! go and make Eba for us osiso!
•13)U saw a 7 year old girl singing “My money, my body na ur own baby”
when I was her age I was singing ” My head my shoulders, my kneel my toes, they all belongs to Jesus”
14) Nawao! one plastic pan of garri is now N1,500 & u ask all these garri sellers they will say cassava is scarce.. Please where is Tekno, he told us he have big cassava,, coman donate ur cassava to ur nation
15) That moment when you are having trust issue and then your girlfriend updates her status “I love God”
then your mind will now start telling you “It can’t be God in heaven, it could be Godstime or Godswill or probably Godspower in your church
16) I have 50 people following me here in Facebook when I don’t even know where am going, we go loss together
17) My problem now is this Airtel people that have been sending my grand mother some beauty tips.. please for what?
18)If you are single be fully single not when you are single your private part will be dating,
I don't like rubbish....
19)This my neighbor always tag me in her baby’s pics everyday thats why I keep wondering if am raising her child with my data bundle
20) That awkward moment when you finished smoking weed and decided to iron all ur cloths, when you are through you realised u have been ironing without turning on the switch.. ur village witches will just whisper in ur hear ‘bros it Is our work o” wedding dresses for pregnant women
21)ladies Using Your Boyfriend’s Picture As D.p Doesn’t Scare Us guys..
No Be Today We Begin Dey Enter gates wey dem Write
“Beware Of Dogs”
22) Girls are always complaining there are no nice guys. There are nice guys everywhere.
The problem is that your eyelashes are too much. That's why you don't see them
Don’t insult me ooo, I’m not a small boy
23)Guys that turn back to look at yansh of every girl that passes
The day you will turn to salt is coming
I have said my own
24) If you are short, stop celebrating your birthday, You are not growing up…
Don’t insult me I’m not your mate
25) I bought Bag of rice for #20,000 and you are expecting me not to use the sack bag to sew cloth?
Are you sure you are okay???
26) Stealing meat from okro soup is very stressful, You steal one meat and okro will draw a perpendicular line from the kitchen to the bedroom....
27)Sometimes when thunder gets really loud, I imagine it’s God yelling at one or two troublesome angels…
“GABRIEL WHO LEFT THIS PLATE HERE?”
29)Guys When you are 30+ you will never see a single lady, you have to steal a girl from an unserious nigga, you can thank me later..
30) ladies Big Bumbum with ugly face is like Public Holiday on a Saturday, It’s a Waste
31)•Don’t wear white on someone else’s wedding, it’s not your time to shine
Don’t insult me, I’m not feeling fine
32) Increase I have to report this, They are some people in this group, they don’t really like me, so they never comment or like any of my posts, but they still read my jokes and never blocks me or delete me...
The level of Witchcraft in Nigeria will kill somebody one day
33) So the only thing Satan can do to the naked eve is only to convince her to eat the forbidden fruit.. Satan must be a gay, I am not sure mary was naked before holy spirit pregnanted her.
I don't want to argue, I went to church today.
34) No one is more respectful than a person who comes to borrow money from you.. they can listen to all your craps, and even clean your house, some will even great your sunday chicken
35)Just because of one fine usher girl thats why u give all ur money in the offering box, now u are looking for a lift..
bro, can’t u see the devil is using ur sense to dance Wo! by Olamide
36)You are 45yrs old and you still dance and shout when Nepa bring light..( up Nepa)
pls bro, come my side we have psycatric hospital
37) Beyonce just sent me a friend request, but her location is showing me Ajegunle, Nigeria
Ahbi has beyoncy relocated?
38) A wise man once said:
“The best way to fall in a relationship is to fall with parachute”
39) That moment when you buy iPhone 7 for 200k and it has Nokia Ringing tune,
Aba boys handwork, f you know you know
40) Where are those slay queens that lost their virginity cos of iPhone 7.. now iPhone 8 is out, hope u ready to loose ur destiny?
41)You bought iPhone 7 this morning and in the evening it fell into water.. Don’t worry too much, just take the earphone and hang your self
42) My fear for weed started when I saw my friend’s father dabbing for Osadebe song
43) So this guy has refused to go home simply because he posted on Facebook;
“A father that does not have money like Dangote, is that one a father” and his father liked the post.
45) A Yoruba man will still count money from ATM machine
46) That moment when you’re drunk and want to jump across a gutter not knowing you are about to jump off third mainland bridge
I have jumped out, have a lovely evening,