FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE
A wise man will hear
And will increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsel:
The issue of who's parents should visit at what time and for how long, needs to be addressed.
The leader of the family must ensure that his parents and that of his wife are well taken care of.
Young man, do not treat your parents differently from the way you treat your wife's parents. If you do that, you are not setting a good example for your wife to follow.
Always discuss with your wife how much you want to send your parents. Your wife must not feel that you treat your parents differently from hers.
If she finds out that you give special attention to your parents than hers, she will learn from you and will also start sending money secretly to her parents without your knowledge.
The next thing she would do is to probably build a house in her home town for her parents without your knowledge.
Once in a while, invite either your parents or your wife's parents to come spend some few days with you.
It helps strengthen the bond between you and your in laws and your wife and her in laws.
A parent (especially a mother) must not visit and stay beyond three to four months if the visit is not about baby delivery.
When your mother visits, you must not allow her to cook for you, let your wife do all the cooking.
Your mother's time of cooking for you was over from the day you got married.
Ecclesiastes 3 says there is time for everything.
Do not encourage her by even eating her food when you come from work to see that she has cooked for you even though your wife has also cooked.
Unless your wife was busy and asked her to prepare food for the family. That is different.
But if your wife has cooked and your mother too says she is cooking for her son because she knows what food her son likes best,
Abrante3, eat your wife's food. And tell your mum never to cook for you again. Let her know her time of cooking for you is over that's why you got married.
That is how many couple's marriages broke down. Be wise and take charge of your home young man.
Do not let your mum wash your things when she visits, that's not her duty anymore. Draw the lines clearly for your mum to know what she can do in your house and what she cannot do.
Most men keep quiet when their mums begin to do such things in their home and their wives are not happy but are also not able to explain.
Do not also allow anyone from your family to come to your house and be ordering your wife around the home as if they bought her into the house.
It must not happen under your watch. They have no control over your house, you have, so don't entertain any such things in your home.
Many bad mothers have been the reason behind their children's broken marriages, and this is how they start it.
I love my mother and I know that you love yours too. So I am not trying to incite anyone against his mother.
There is nothing wrong when a mother visits and cooks for the family with your wife's consent or agreement.
The problem lies in your mum trying to let you ignore your wife's food for her own. That's out of order abrante3.
There are good mothers but there are bad mothers too. In my work as a pastor, I have encountered a couple of bad mothers.
I have seen a mother who has caused division in her son's marriage because she has married her son spiritually.
I have also seen a mother who is behind the frustrations his son is going through in life but is physically attached to her son so much that, her son can hardly recognise that she is the one doing all that. encore style items of the wedding to wear
Was it not a mother who changed Esau's destiny by pushing her son Jacob to claim Esau's blessings?
Was it not a mother who told king Solomon to divide her neighbour's baby into two when she realised she had slept on her baby and killed it?
Sometimes, when some people say their mum cannot destroy them, I just laugh in my head.
Young man, love your mum but also be vigilant. Pray for your mum a lot because If she is the good type, she would be a great blessing your marriage.
But if she is the bad type of a mother, it is going to be difficult for you to know because she would be too caring physically to suspect.
I have seen a mother who sacked her daughter from her matrimonial home and took her place.
Yeah. And do you think this thing can happen normally? That's why you must be prayerful young man.
I don't do that in my ministry. Your mother is this, your father is that, your aunty is that, your sibling is the one doing that and so on. No.
I will tell you to pray harder. It is unethical in my profession to be telling people this kind of things.
It brings hatred and divisions among families. And that's not part of a pastor's job. A pastor unifies people.
Young man, love your mum and take good care of her. But you must also not give room for anything that will jeopardise your marriage.
Apply wisdom in dealing with issues between your wife and your mum. Don't let your wife feel you are on your mum's side.
Your home is a strong territory of your wife and she must feel secured in her home, no matter who comes to visit.
Marriage is a great Responsibility and to be successful in it requires a great demonstration of wisdom.
GOD BLESS YOU